How to vote against Tony Abbott

[Ford Fairlane]

The Greens believe in decriminalisation of individual drug use.. Tony and Kev do not.. Still have to vote for Kev though   HOW TO VOTE AGAINST TONY ABBOTT

                                     HOW TO VOTE AGAINST  TONY ABBOTT 

                                              A handy step-by-step guide

It is an inevitability, no matter how unfortunate, that in two weeks time either Tony Abbott or Kevin Rudd will be our new Prime Minister.

Oh dear. 

It’s not really much of a choice but the only thing we can do is try to minimise the damage. So here’s a few suggestions and like minded despair before we hurtle into a deeply conservative and sexist future. 

If you’re curious about why Tony Abbott is such a bad idea or just need some ammunition for those tedious arguments with people who want to vote for him I’m also composing a one-size fits all list (with links) about his policies, history and moral fibre (or lack thereof). It’ll be up in the next few days.

 

Firstly, if you do intend to vote for Tony Abbott or any member of the Liberal party stop reading now and get off my blog. 

Secondly, it’s time to face facts. The Greens, however awesome, are probably not going to win. So we must decide: Labor or Liberal?

If you picked Labor you win the car! (I’m kidding, there’s no car, nor any Australia industry the way we’re going…)

So now you have to work out how you can vote against the Liberals and therefore for Labor, without ridiculous guilt and/ or soul destroying darkness akin to Cyberman conversion . Here’s a step by step guide:

On September 7th put on your most badarse, ‘I can kill you with my brain’ outfit. 

Right. Now go to the polling booth.

When you get there you’ll be given two bits of paper. One little one. One giant enormous one over 1 metre long. The little one is for your local seat, the big one is for the Senate. 

Let’s start with the little one. Who ever wins this form’s vote wins your seat. Whoever wins your seat gets an extra point to win government. There are 150 seats Australia wide. They tally the votes from this ballot by a two-party preferred system. This means they tally up everyone’s #1 votes. If no one has over 50% the candidate who has the fewest votes is excluded and the votes are transferred according to the next preference shown. 

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT IF YOU’RE IN A MARGINAL GREENS/LABOR SEAT. 

Here’s the problem. All the sane people are like, ‘Kevin WTF? Seriously bro. I didn’t get my Kevin ‘07 t-shirt for this shit’. And then they vote Greens. 

WAIT! NO! STOP!

If you vote Greens on the little ballot you’re splitting the Labor vote. Which means Labor has less votes, Greens have slightly more and the Liberals win. No. NOOOO. This is the opposite of awesome. So, here’s a suggestion. Vote Labor 1 and Greens 2 and Liberals waaaaaaaaay down the bottom. This means that when they tally up the seats (you know, where they colour a map of Australia all blue and red) Labor will have more seats than Liberal and Tony Abbott gets kicked to the curb. What a jerk.

If you’re in a marginal seat like Grayndler (Sydney) or Batman (Vic) or Melbourne (Vic) if you vote Greens #1 and Labor #2 you might take the seat away from Labor. This means when the tallying happens Australia wide and that seat goes to the Greens Labor have lost a seat and could lose the election. If you’re in a marginal Labor/ Liberal seat this doesn’t matter so much. You can get away with voting #1 Greens and #2 Labor but if you’re unsure or in one of these three seats PUT GREENS IN # 2! (If you want to know exactly how this tallying business works go here:  http://www.aec.gov.au/Voting/counting/hor_count.htm )

'But,' I hear you say, 'I may have stopped Tony from being in charge but my conscience is no longer clear. I feel dirty.'

Fair enough. So do I. Here’s how to fix that:

On the big sheet of paper you have two options. Vote 1 above the line. Or label all 110 boxes below the line. 

Now what you’re actually doing on this ballot is voting for individual people for your state or territory. So if you just put 1 Greens you’re letting the Greens decide who to give their preferences to. 

(If you’re curious about who the Greens are giving their preferences to go here: http://www.aec.gov.au/election/nsw/gvt.htm This is a handy dandy list of all the preferences for ALL the parties for NSW. Just go to Group R if you’re only interested in the Greens. SPOILER ALERT! So far as NSW is concerned the answer is Wikileaks, the Pirate Party, the Future Party for starters.

For Victoria go here: http://www.aec.gov.au/election/vic/gvt.htm Go to Group S for Victoria. SPOILER ALERT! For Victoria the Greens preference Wikileaks, the Sex Party and the Pirate Party.

For another state or territory go here http://www.aec.gov.au/election/who-are-the-candidates.htm and select your state from the Senate list.)

So, how do we vote above the line? Well, you can just label number 1 Greens. Understandably, some of you are lazy. Fair enough. Label #1, go home and cross your fingers the Liberals don’t STILL win. You’re done!

If, on the other hand, you feel very strongly about ensuring a sexist, religious, conservative, uncaring, John Howard-loving dick doesn’t run your country and life for the next four years let me suggest to you a thing:

Vote for the Greens below the line, label the Greens 1-6 or more, give them all your first numbers, then do the same for whoever you want next- Labor, the Pirate party who believe in transparency in government, Wikileaks, etc. and so on and so forth until you’ve labelled all the boxes. THIS MAKES SURE YOUR VOTE ACTUALLY COUNTS!! 

Now, once they’ve tallied up all the votes from the Senate ballot that is what determines who gets the seat. Here you’re voting for individual people, not a party. There are 76 seats altogether. The top 12 from each of the states and top 2 from the Territories with the most votes get the seats. So if the Greens have loads and loads and loads of votes, guess what? They get loads of seats in the Senate and then the balance of power. This means that every time which ever middle-aged white man gets to be Prime Minister tries to pass something the Greens can go, ‘ehhh ehhh we’ll vote for it if you take this bit away’. Yay Greens! Keeping it real since the 1990s.

But how does this actually help anyone? 

Well, despite his great effort, Kevin remains the lesser of two evils so even if we’re feeling very passionate about this and I am, believe me, I am, we still need to decide Kevin or Tony. The Greens, however awesome, are not a viable option for the Prime Ministership. The general population will not vote for a bunch of alleged hippies. This is why we get Kevin the gig and let the Greens manipulate him from the Senate. See? Easy.

And if the unthinkable does happen and Tony somehow wins? Well, the Greens will still control the Senate because you voted for them. HA!

So Gen Y. Now is our time to fix this country. We’ve let the baby boomers muck it up for far too long. GET VOTING! AND DO IT RIGHT!

 

tl;dr

To keep Tony Abbott from the Prime Ministership vote Labor #1 on the little ballot and Greens #1 in the Senate (the 1 metre long one). This will help the Greens hold balance of power and hopefully curtail Mr Rudd’s increasingly despotic lunacy.

EDIT:

There is a thing called ‘preferential voting’ if you’re not in a marginal seat you can make this work for you i.e. you can vote Greens or the Sex Party or Wikileaks first and sort out Labor further down the line depending on swing margins and how your fellow residents are voting. If you know how this works chances are this post was not written for you.

• 25 August 2013

[Johnsy]

As if you would vote at all .....!

...... Let alone for K.Rudd or Budgie Smuggler...

 

Voting is a joke for losers that are interested in the very politics that control the same laws that prohibit our medication/weed .......

 

 

Johnsy's tip of the week!:               .......

 

Here's what you do....

 

Get your name signed off , rule number #1 - avoid the fine,

then take the 2 pieces of paper to the little cardboard stall/room/thingo where you fillout the forms,

then smear some shit all over the paper nice and even-like, so you can fold it incognito.

Then fold it up and pop it in the box with the rest of the forms....

 

All those pieces of paper will stink like shit for the counting team then

 

 

Johnsy's number #1 tip for voting:

 

Get in a time machine, go back to the date & location that you first enrolled to vote..... Don't enrol..... I didn't ..... I have never got 1 single fine ever ..... and it is not a crime either

Edited September 3, 2013 by Johnsy

[Cyclops]

Never voted for the Liberals in my life but this time I'm going to . 

[Ford Fairlane]

Interestingly, if you are not enroled to vote, as of this year, if you renew your licence you are on the electoral role.

[Johnsy]

Interestingly, if you are not enroled to vote, as of this year, if you renew your licence you are on the electoral role.

 

Nice try.

 

Not a chance ay .....

 

THey sent me the application forms to my new address but that was all !

[Ford Fairlane]

Nice try.

 

Not a chance ay .....

 

THey sent me the application forms to my new address but that was all !

Hey man, do what you want, I don't care. Just some info for ya. When you renew your licence, you are placed on the electoral role.

[Johnsy]

Hey man, do what you want, I don't care. Just some info for ya. When you renew your licence, you are placed on the electoral role.

i renewed my license 3 yrs a go for a 10 year period

[Sir PsychoHashy]

You make some good points Ford, and some others seem to be missing the point.  The election isn't about getting canna legalised/decriminalised, it just aint gonna happen in this country for a while yet, the political and financial environments just aint right yet, and as long as we stick with our 2 party preferred system it isn't likely to change for a long time, so the parties that give a shit aren't going to make a difference now.  It should be about running the country appropriately.

 

I was in full agreement with you Ford until I had a chat with my aunt, who is an avid Green.  Her take is that voting 1 for the Greens means that they get more money.  Personally I'm not sure that's a good reason, but I do believe that voting Green is about the only way that we can send a message to the now both right wing parties that they are both unacceptable to a sane and reasonable society.  Probably end up going the same way as you though as purely and simply Abbot, Pine, Hockey etc (but not Turnbull) scare the absolute shit out of me, and are blatantly obvious about their attitude of economy (read what's good for big business/corporations) before everything else including society, and I feel a sense of shame about living in a country with that attitude.

 

To those who want to vote Lib, feel free, it's allegedly a free country and your vote is your own to do with as you please with no judgement from me, please reciprocate that attitude.

[louise]

Never voted for the Liberals in my life but this time I'm going to . 

Yeah Tony, because man the internet is too fast already

[Ford Fairlane]

Just to confirm, I didn't write that article, you should be able to access a link to the original source. It has really got me stumped that Turnbull isn't the leader of the libs, if he was Rudd wouldn't stand a chance. Not that its looking good for him atm

Edited September 3, 2013 by Ford Fairlane