misuse help - big problem

[sasquatch]

Yeah I get that about being part of the problem stuff but, heres the clincher, these days when you lose your job, it comes under review by the dole people and if the reason you lost your job does not satisfy their guidelines they dont give you any money for a long time. So the reality is people often end up with NO money. Hence the- support them or they go live under a bridge till they get their shit together. It is a major step and major effort to delve into mental illness and drug difficulties as a means to sign on to the dole. It takes significant attempts and communication skills to navigate through these centrelink people when you are in the best of health...

 

but yes, you are correct

i can see that phasing in new boundaries and changing the relationship and releasing his dependence will be a major step on the road to him addressing his issues...

[WantDaChronic]

if you are paying for his existance, the best thing that you can do is stop giving him anything, i'd still let him come over once a week for dinner with the family, but would only do so on the one condition that he was sober at the time...

 

sure he'll kick up a stink about being cut off, but that means his drug money has to get spent on his bills so unless his friends dont mind him bludging off them constantly or he starts growing his own, then you will have won in sobering him up

 

alternatively, you could video tape him while stoned and straight and make him watch both situations...if he can see he looks and feels alive while straight, then it might make him want to quit on his own.

[sasquatch]

Thanks again.

result - Support and patience whilst changing the dynamics of our (the family) relationship so their are clearer boundaries.