JS' Guide to Stealth Smoking

[wyrm]

A fan pointed out the window is a MUST.

incense works a treat also if theres a heavy chop going down

[cybergenesis]

There is supposed to be some safe spray that you can spray on weed, to get rid of the smell of the smoke, I saw it advertised somewhere.

[wyrm]

There is supposed to be some safe spray that you can spray on weed, to get rid of the smell of the smoke, I saw it advertised somewhere.

 

damn that stuff sounds nasty. who'd wanna spray there own deal, i'd rather get caught

[itsMoeyy]

Doob Tube - PURE GENIUS!

 

Me like

[macaroni]

I smoke in my backyard. Never been caught yet.

[mj_lives]

Many people, (myself included) first started smoking when they were younger, still lived at home, and had to "sneak" smokes and hide it all from their parents.

No one likes getting caught, so I figured I'd just share what I've learnt so far in my stoning life with everyone, in case some people are having trouble with keeping their smoking from their parents/room mates/family/work etc.

Lots of you will probably know all of this already because most of this info is stuff easily found on the net, and the rest is just common sense. I just figured that this might save people some time, and it might be useful to some people.

 

First of is what I like to call "scent management".

A sploof (or doob tube) is basically a toilet roll, stuffed with dryer sheets, which (when exhaled through), gets rid of about 90% of the smoke smell from that particular hit.

Dryer sheets are found at Woolworths, IGAs, Safeway, Coles, or whatever supermarkets you have in your area. Look in the laundry area. Very cheap, and very effective. You stuff about 5 sheets in the tube, and rubber band/tape another one over the hole at one end of the tube (stops the sheets from coming out). Blow in the non-covered end.

They only really work with bongs or pipes, though. The constant burning of joints makes too much smoke. Light up your bowl as usual, but before actually sinking it, use whatever you can (finger, lighter etc) to smother the cherry so no excess smoke is produced.

Sink the whole thing (if that means taking smaller hits, so be it), and when you exhale, exhale it all through the tube.

I know, it's a hassle, but they work well.

 

A sploof alone won't save you, though...you need more powaaa!

Set up a good powered fan, and open a window so that the fan is blowing all it's air right out the window.

If you stand behind the fan as you smoke, it sucks the smoke that comes off of your bowl/joint out the window, plus all the smoke you inhale/exhale. Combined with the tube of doob, it's pretty damn good at keeping the smoke and the smoke's lingering smell away.

 

As far as air freshening goes, Lynx is a BAD choice. It just adds Lynx smell to the smell of the weed.

There are some pretty good air fresheners out there, but I must say the best of them all is definitely Oust. I generally go for the Lemon scented one, because lemon actually kinda smells nice, so I can cope with my room smelling like lemons for a bit afterwards.

And, as the add says, instead of just covering up the smell like most air fresheners, Oust actually eliminates the odours. So...yeah. Oust =

Give your clothes a small spray of it too, but then touch it up with a SMALL amount of your deodorant of choice. The Oust gets rid of the smoke smell, while the deodorant gets you smelling like normal again.

Also, if you're going to be in contact with people afterwards, wash your hands. If you can, have an entire fucking shower. If you touched weed, ash, a joint or anything like that, your fingers could get some smell on them.

 

To cover up the fact that you are stoned to people, it's really just common sense.

Anti-Redeye eye drops are essential in not looking stoned, because not only do they get rid of any redness, they also seem to get rid of that "sleepy eye" look. The ones you want are the ones that specifically say "for red eyes". The other ones don't work as well, I don't think.

Eclipse mints are fucking strong, but delicious. They're a good choice for covering up smokey breath. Plus, the tins are pretty cool. (Fun fact: After all the mints are gone, stuff a few buds in there, shut the lid, and let it sit for a week or two. You'll get weed that smells and tastes a little like mint. Kinda cool, I guess.)

Oust and a little bit of deodorant, as previously mentioned, is a really good combo for covering the smell on clothes.

If you're stoned and feel like a bit of a "pick me up" (whether just because you're feeling tired, or because you're worried people will realise you're a bit slower than usual), try Red Eye energy drink.

I reckon it's tastier than most energy drinks, and well...the brand name is Red Eye. How perfect is that?

 

As for actually smoking, if you're inside and can't be seen, then a bong or pipe is better, just because they don't keep burning after you take a hit in the same way that a joint does.

If you're in public, try and avoid pipes or bongs, and just go with a joint. You can get some pretty cool stealth pipes of websites such as everyonedoesit, which are useful, but most people don't have these, so often a joint is the way to go.

Even better than a normal joint is modifying a cigarette so that it looks the same, except it's filled with weed. You can do it by pulling all the tobacco out with a pin or something and then trying to stuff it full, but that takes ages, so you're often best just making it using the "Secret Agent" method, found on http://www.weedfarmer.com/joint_rolling/index.htm. That site's really useful for learning to roll different kinds of joints, or just touching up your joint rolling in general. (And it's the first thing that comes up on Google when you search "How To Roll Joints" )

 

That's all I really got now. If anyone has any more tips or anything, I'll be more than happy to add them, so just let me know.

Hope someone finds this useful.

 

nice advice thanks mate

[four winds]

Gear List:

-Eye drops

-body spray

-mint gum

-hand sanitizer

-toilet paper roll with dryer sheets

-air freshener

 

Am I missing anything?