Personal Battle

[ruthless]

hi guys,

this is a personal battle, i'm contemplating or trying to quit

 

in my teens i was on anti-depressants then i substituted it with smoking marijuana. I have been smoking for 9 yrs since 12 i did quit for a year a year and a half ago it was one of most difficult struggles of my life. I couldn't sleep at all only way to sleep was if i go to bed watch repeats twice of a tv shows i downloaded. After a few weeks of my personal struggle i was clean for about a year then i got back into it after a night out.

 

Lately i've been trying to quit i said last quarter that this would be my last and by lowering the amount i smoked would help. Well that didn't work, so fast forward ahead i'm on my last last quarter down to scraping the resin out of my bong.

 

my problem i can't concentrate whole heartedly as my work requires me to do so (passion) without a smoke. It's like i'm dazed there's no ambition and motivation. At the same time smoking is getting expensive, some of you might be familiar with Parkinsons law.

 

If you bring $200 for a night out you will spend $200. Same as a quarter.

 

I'm contemplating seeing help and going back on to meds to keep me in a good state of mind. It's been a very along time since i had meds prescribed and even then i was smoking as well. But at the same time i know marijuana is good at what it does and also helps me to sleep as i have always had a hard time sleeping.

 

right now i'm actually smoking the resin out of my bong... i know a sad reality. Smoking cigarettes is not even close to a substitute and i don't normally smoke them unless drinking.

 

My situation:

My main dealers moved who i've been getting off for yrs.

options:My friends mate that i don't hang with can get it but it's a hassle as he doesn't smoke and he has to pick his mate.

options:I can go see my old time school friends who i used to smoke with but everyones grown up and its been 5 years.

 

What's the difference between prescribed meds and Marijuana? like instant effect, differences, side effects, cost of prescribed meds etc..

 

What do you do to cut down smoking? for me i try to reward myself~

Do you guys ever ask yourself can i smoke forever?

if worse comes to worse i'll see my friend and try get introduced so i can pick up myself.

Edited December 31, 2007 by ruthless

[mull]

I was responding to a "claim" that once you get on ssri's, you're hooked for life. Not true.

Dee

 

 

That's not true DocDee not sure what you're up to mate..

 

You were responding to - "the docs will have you fully accept those pills for the long term, perhaps life"

 

 

And your response was this - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drug_holiday

 

 

Which is a risk and there is no doubt about it - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SSRI_discontinuation_syndrome

[Pam]

That's not true DocDee not sure what you're up to mate..

 

You were responding to - "the docs will have you fully accept those pills for the long term, perhaps life"

 

 

And your response was this - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drug_holiday

 

 

Which is a risk and there is no doubt about it - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SSRI_discontinuation_syndrome

I have to thank you for that second link! I learned a few things and it explained lots that I had wondered about.

Yes indeed, there are some ssri's like effexor that have some nasty side effects upon missing just a couple of doses.

I was lucky that one of the better ones worked for me. In a perfect world, I would have had this medication many years ago. But it did not exist then. I often wonder how different my life would have been.

 

The one thing I wanted to point out to all is that a person suffering from depression is very easily overwhelmed. Very little can quickly become too much. It all sounds like a cacophany.

With all good intentions we may have opened a flood gate where a simple glass of water was all that was needed.

 

So maybe we could all step back for a bit and let ruthless breathe. We haven't heard a word since this thread started, and to be perfectly honest, I'm getting worried. Please...

[grok]

hiya Ruthless...a lot of people seem to have quite firm views on this topic ...heres mine!!

 

I have Bi-Polar and have experienced the dizzying heights of a manic state and the depressing depths of a depressive state.

when i was released from the funny farm some years ago i was supposed to stay on the pills for life...after some months and not liking the effects i quit them...and used marijuana to self-medicate my depression....although mainly used recreationally i found it awesome to help overcome the extreme emotional lows/downers/blues 'life sux' type feelings..

 

however i have noticed one effect of cannabis withdrawl symptons to be short term depression!! this tends to pass for me after 3 days of no smoko. i believe this is the depression you have been suffering from since Jan 1st in your origional post when u said you are down to smoking the resin from your bong

 

Ruthless and Roid...from what i understand and have researched sativa dominant strains are the preferred type to medicate depression with.(that said i enjoy indicas and sativas....i will be growing a pure sativa after my Nothern Lights grow(pure indica) and will observe the different effects at close hand!!..a stoner scientist approach with myself as the guiena pig)

 

A lot of people will tell you that cannabis is no good for depression...i suggest you use your own life as an experiment.. you will soon know(as if you dont already) if it works well for you...the same can be said for the legal antidepressants...try em and see if they work well for you and dont have too many negative side effects...personally i will never touch 'em again...

 

Budman2012 says he thinks your main problem is with your lack of supply.....i agree...you have lost your permanent dealer which you have used for years...you dont have your own place to grow...you have seeds to grow so you are definetly considering growing....a goal to focus on such as saving money for getting your own place so you can grow will help you with your depression.

the other thing is i think you feel a little guilty for starting to choof again after a year long hiatus...get rid of the guilt it will only decrease your self esteem and contribute to your depression.

 

hope to hear a reply from you soon...even if its just to ease Grannys' concern over your wellbeing.

[ruthless]

hey guys,

 

I thought i would lay out the details to help others & the confusion.

 

Right now I only want to quit if theres a alternative out there that has the same effects but at the same time i question if i can keep smoking Marijuana. Why?

 

1. The price

2. Hard to get a hold of

3. Stigma around it / Illegal

 

During the early stage i've been trying to quit replacing a cigarette to i guess simulate the effects marijuana. Works to a tiny degree, usually i never smoke cigarettes unless drinking and i use no spin. Smoking a tiny bit of resin here and there when i needed a pick me up.

 

Update i got a chest infection from smoking resin not good. I thought there was something wrong with my chest or heart, so i saw the doc. Anyway i'm on these meds for my chest infection (Roxithromycin) and they are giving me a very nice buzz like i can feel the back of my brain my brains pulsating. They are keeping me out of a state of limbo which is good but it's not as good as MJ, maybe meds could be a possible alternative but i've always been the type that relies on myself (not seeing a therapist).

 

I'll be off these meds for my chest in a couple of days so i might see a therapist (really i don't want to because i've always relied on myself, but i should) because they are doing wonders for me..

 

At the same time i've noticed that there's a mental aspect to it. When i watch movies i like, videos i like and planning my grow i don't go into a state of limbo and am able to work fine. When i get "locked in" to something i feel much better, i think its related to purpose, hope.

 

Anyway i'm going to be setting up my own grow and running minimal risks as possible, i don't have the ideal secure location (i will make it as safe as possible with the variables i can control) with people rarely coming in and out. My plan is to setup my grow (being self-sufficient) in the mean time possible go on the meds until i can supply myself but i don't think they would simulate the % of positives i get out of mj.

 

Maybe the meds for depression will have a better effect then Roxithromycin and i could switch but the meds will be effecting me 24/7 which i don't want. With MJ it doesn't give me side effects like these meds and i sleep better.

 

I guess its the seed of hope for me..

 

Finally I would like to say everyone's different, so i laid out my story so people know my experience and choose there own path thats right for them. My path(variables) will be different to others there is no universal answer..

 

All the best and thanks everyone for the help..

[Pam]

[DrDee]

Ruthless,

Glad to hear you're developing a plan of action. I once read something that is so true. We are all practicing medicine on ourselves our whole life. Health care, diet and exercise decisions...we must make our own path in life. Good luck to you.

 

Peace,

Dee

[PeaceGrow]

Pot can definitely be bad for you if its grown buy some shit thug with chemicals and sprayed with poison. Iv even herd of idiots loading up dried bud with seasol to make it heavier. If you grow your own, you can be sure whats in it. All the people i know that have taken the drugs from the medical cartels have become permanently fucked in some way.

 

Have you tried herbal?

Try some Saint John's Wort, very good at anti depression, best not to take it if your on chemicals.

You can pick up eleuthero (aka siberian ginseng) pretty cheep in its dried form, best to drink it in a tea once a day for 3 months at a time.

For sleep Camomile is good to make into a tea.

[brick]

Pot can definitely be bad for you if its grown buy some shit thug with chemicals and sprayed with poison. Iv even herd of idiots loading up dried bud with seasol to make it heavier. If you grow your own, you can be sure whats in it. All the people i know that have taken the drugs from the medical cartels have become permanently fucked in some way.

 

Have you tried herbal?

Try some Saint John's Wort, very good at anti depression, best not to take it if your on chemicals.

You can pick up eleuthero (aka siberian ginseng) pretty cheep in its dried form, best to drink it in a tea once a day for 3 months at a time.

For sleep Camomile is good to make into a tea.

 

St Johns Wort cannot/should not be taken if you are on anti depressants. My son is on anti depressants and SJW is a BIG NO NO.

[Radic]

irey ru

grow yah own

have you considered trying cannabis tincture?

in your breaks from smoking?

it is very easy to make

instantly effective, internal or external

of course the best is to eat some Hash Oil

hav you seen this dvd -->

hehe

hash oil rulez

try to eat some just like in the dvd put some on yah finger put it in yah mouth and eat it

its yummy

not only can you self-medicate, which is the best way to go

but with one seed, and a little TLC you can grow and produce your own medicine

from your own garden, which could be in a cupboard near your bedhead

so you can smell it as you are going to sleep, or outside your bedroom window

it has been used by people kind for hundreds a years (even without modern hi-tek grow labs)

so it can be done

home grown and home processed, self medicated

i do it

Goddess we're spoilt aren't we

who blessed us with this planet?

I just hafe give thanks and praises

evryday

Edited April 21, 2008 by Radic

[PeaceGrow]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8df9-oADP_c