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loves420
Hi all, I know it's long but it worth it. This is a true story..I know for a fact. I lived through it. No one can tell or convince me mj has no medical value. I wrote this, so people who don't have this ailment or a painful one, have a chance to understand it. I must warn you this is painful and you might feel my pain. This is how I explain it. I have seen lots of people cry when they heard this. I don't want pitty. I WANT THE TRUTH OF MEDICAL MARIJUANA KNOWN for all to see
Peace
:smoke
May 20, 2000 around 11:30pm, my life as I knew it died. Like a phoenix, my life burst into flame and started to turn to ash, but had not fallen upon the ground yet. I had learned a lot about my now ex-husband that he failed to mention while we were dating. I had learned he was an alcoholic, an angry drunk, and he loved crank (meth). The phoenixes' ash is beginning to fall; my husband picked a fight with me. Without warning he slammed me into the exterior wall of our house. I remember I took three or four very quick steps back before my right shoulder smashed into the wall, followed by my upper back (between the shoulder blades), then my lower back hit hard. My memory goes hazy and so it will remain there for too long. My shoulder snaps, cracks, grinds, and pops when it is in motion. The lower back had a one-inch high and round bump over the spine and between the vertebra. This is what started my condition, a nasty type of chronic pain, and very hard to diagnose. It is called Fibromyalgia; pray you never get it. But it would be almost 4 years before I would know. My life as I had known it was over.
The ash, of the phoenix, falls into a gray pile; I have been shackled and become a prisoner to pain. How do I explain pain that I have never felt before? There are too many painful memories that have been burned into my mind. I would put a pillow in my mouth, so no one would hear, and would scream in agony for hours upon hours. I got uncontrollable migraines and spinal headaches. My eyes felt like they were going to bust while my head was building so much pressure it was going to explode. The spinal headaches lasted a few months while my body tried to heal. However, my back was weakened. At any given time, this condition will send a power surge through my nervous system. The havoc that this causes is pure Hell. I get muscle spasms for hours or even days. I could hear my mind screaming at my leg to stop flopping around like a fish out of water. But it could be anything connected to a nerve. My leg was racked in pain every time it jerked, and yet it could not obey. The intense pain would hit my stomach and caused severe nausea and vomiting. I would throw-up several times a day even though my stomach was empty. I lost fifty pounds in a couple months. Before I could recover from an episode, my feet all of sudden felt like they were on fire. Yet, a few inches away, one of my ankle felt ice cold to the point it was throbbing and being stabbed with ice sickles. The other ankle felt normal. The pain was so intense I could not sleep. It was not uncommon for me to stay awake for 72 hours straight. This is a small taste of my everyday life. The ’bad’ days are far worse; too many times I have been stuck in bed for days or even weeks. I could not walk or even stand because of pain or I could not feel apart of me. If I moved any part of my body, I felt pain everywhere. But if I lay still, felt pain shooting down my spine. I have dragged myself on the floor to go to the bathroom, make something to eat, to get my medication, etc. etc. I hated what I had become.... I wished for death to end my suffering.
My first doctor tried everything she could think of medication, x-rays, cat-scans, blood tests, and a spinal trap. But all tests showed, “there might be a problem,” or nothing is wrong. I took Vicodin, Soma, Naproxen, Promethazine, Ibuprofen, Bextra, and countless others. I took eighteen plus pills a day, but the pain laughed at the attempt to kill it. She gave up after a year and then told me, "It's all in your head" and “You’re a junky.” That was the last time I saw her. I found my current doctor and he repeated all the test except the spinal trap. All the results were the same.
About the same time, I was talking to a medical marijuana friend of mine, Jim. He was a six-foot tall trucker before he was injured. Jim asked me if I had ever tried marijuana for the pain. It never had occurred to me, but now that very question I had asked myself before I voted in 1998 was back and needed to be answered again. “If I had a painful condition and standard treatment did not work, would I try marijuana to ease my misery?” Misery a word I truly understand. This is one of the easiest questions I have ever answered in my life. I talked to my doctor even though I was not diagnosed with a named condition; I still fit the guidelines. He signed the paperwork.
About three or four months later, the pain that had aggregately laughed to my pleading to be freed from this insanity was about to know fear. I smoked medical marijuana for the first time, and felt the pain leave my body. My pain level went a ten plus, on the pain scale, to a five within a few minutes and it continued to drop. I could feel the pain wither and die inside of me, and was replaced with something I have not felt for an eternally. My body began to relax; my mind began to clear. I began to realize I had been given a key to unlock the shackles of pain. At last, my nervous system calmed down. The migraine, which had become one of my masters screamed in contempt. For the first time in over a year, I did not have a headache of any kind. The muscle spasms reduced and finally stopped on my command. My body was exhaustion and collapsed. I feel asleep and slept for hours, the best in years. When I awoke on my terms, I was starving. For the first time in a longtime, I got hungry, ate my fill and held it down. Sometime later, "Jim" gave me some marijuana tea, and told me to drink it in the next hour or the THC will be gone, and DO NOT DRIVE while under it. When I got home I drank it, and am glad I took his advice. The tea was delicious; it tasted like I was drinking a pumpkin pie. Since I drank it instead of smoking it marijuana, it took about 20 minutes or so to feel the effects. My mind was clear as a bell, I remember thinking I’m back. The phoenix has risen from the ash, stronger and better then before. If any of my formal masters had returned, I could not feel them. For I had a very strong body high, my body was numb to pain.
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