Fibromyalgia

[loves420]

Hi all, I know it's long but it worth it. This is a true story..I know for a fact. I lived through it. No one can tell or convince me mj has no medical value. I wrote this, so people who don't have this ailment or a painful one, have a chance to understand it. I must warn you this is painful and you might feel my pain. This is how I explain it. I have seen lots of people cry when they heard this. I don't want pitty. I WANT THE TRUTH OF MEDICAL MARIJUANA KNOWN for all to see

 

 

Peace :smoke

 

 

 

May 20, 2000 around 11:30pm, my life as I knew it died. Like a phoenix, my life burst into flame and started to turn to ash, but had not fallen upon the ground yet. I had learned a lot about my now ex-husband that he failed to mention while we were dating. I had learned he was an alcoholic, an angry drunk, and he loved crank (meth). The phoenixes' ash is beginning to fall; my husband picked a fight with me. Without warning he slammed me into the exterior wall of our house. I remember I took three or four very quick steps back before my right shoulder smashed into the wall, followed by my upper back (between the shoulder blades), then my lower back hit hard. My memory goes hazy and so it will remain there for too long. My shoulder snaps, cracks, grinds, and pops when it is in motion. The lower back had a one-inch high and round bump over the spine and between the vertebra. This is what started my condition, a nasty type of chronic pain, and very hard to diagnose. It is called Fibromyalgia; pray you never get it. But it would be almost 4 years before I would know. My life as I had known it was over.

The ash, of the phoenix, falls into a gray pile; I have been shackled and become a prisoner to pain. How do I explain pain that I have never felt before? There are too many painful memories that have been burned into my mind. I would put a pillow in my mouth, so no one would hear, and would scream in agony for hours upon hours. I got uncontrollable migraines and spinal headaches. My eyes felt like they were going to bust while my head was building so much pressure it was going to explode. The spinal headaches lasted a few months while my body tried to heal. However, my back was weakened. At any given time, this condition will send a power surge through my nervous system. The havoc that this causes is pure Hell. I get muscle spasms for hours or even days. I could hear my mind screaming at my leg to stop flopping around like a fish out of water. But it could be anything connected to a nerve. My leg was racked in pain every time it jerked, and yet it could not obey. The intense pain would hit my stomach and caused severe nausea and vomiting. I would throw-up several times a day even though my stomach was empty. I lost fifty pounds in a couple months. Before I could recover from an episode, my feet all of sudden felt like they were on fire. Yet, a few inches away, one of my ankle felt ice cold to the point it was throbbing and being stabbed with ice sickles. The other ankle felt normal. The pain was so intense I could not sleep. It was not uncommon for me to stay awake for 72 hours straight. This is a small taste of my everyday life. The ’bad’ days are far worse; too many times I have been stuck in bed for days or even weeks. I could not walk or even stand because of pain or I could not feel apart of me. If I moved any part of my body, I felt pain everywhere. But if I lay still, felt pain shooting down my spine. I have dragged myself on the floor to go to the bathroom, make something to eat, to get my medication, etc. etc. I hated what I had become.... I wished for death to end my suffering.

My first doctor tried everything she could think of medication, x-rays, cat-scans, blood tests, and a spinal trap. But all tests showed, “there might be a problem,” or nothing is wrong. I took Vicodin, Soma, Naproxen, Promethazine, Ibuprofen, Bextra, and countless others. I took eighteen plus pills a day, but the pain laughed at the attempt to kill it. She gave up after a year and then told me, "It's all in your head" and “You’re a junky.” That was the last time I saw her. I found my current doctor and he repeated all the test except the spinal trap. All the results were the same.

About the same time, I was talking to a medical marijuana friend of mine, Jim. He was a six-foot tall trucker before he was injured. Jim asked me if I had ever tried marijuana for the pain. It never had occurred to me, but now that very question I had asked myself before I voted in 1998 was back and needed to be answered again. “If I had a painful condition and standard treatment did not work, would I try marijuana to ease my misery?” Misery a word I truly understand. This is one of the easiest questions I have ever answered in my life. I talked to my doctor even though I was not diagnosed with a named condition; I still fit the guidelines. He signed the paperwork.

About three or four months later, the pain that had aggregately laughed to my pleading to be freed from this insanity was about to know fear. I smoked medical marijuana for the first time, and felt the pain leave my body. My pain level went a ten plus, on the pain scale, to a five within a few minutes and it continued to drop. I could feel the pain wither and die inside of me, and was replaced with something I have not felt for an eternally. My body began to relax; my mind began to clear. I began to realize I had been given a key to unlock the shackles of pain. At last, my nervous system calmed down. The migraine, which had become one of my masters screamed in contempt. For the first time in over a year, I did not have a headache of any kind. The muscle spasms reduced and finally stopped on my command. My body was exhaustion and collapsed. I feel asleep and slept for hours, the best in years. When I awoke on my terms, I was starving. For the first time in a longtime, I got hungry, ate my fill and held it down. Sometime later, "Jim" gave me some marijuana tea, and told me to drink it in the next hour or the THC will be gone, and DO NOT DRIVE while under it. When I got home I drank it, and am glad I took his advice. The tea was delicious; it tasted like I was drinking a pumpkin pie. Since I drank it instead of smoking it marijuana, it took about 20 minutes or so to feel the effects. My mind was clear as a bell, I remember thinking I’m back. The phoenix has risen from the ash, stronger and better then before. If any of my formal masters had returned, I could not feel them. For I had a very strong body high, my body was numb to pain.

Edited November 11, 2004 by loves420

[Tom]

My mind was clear as a bell, I remember thinking I’m back. The phoenix has risen from the ash, stronger and better then before. If any of my formal masters had returned, I could not feel them. For I had a very strong body high, my body was numb to pain.

Sometimes I think that our governments should be criminally liable for what they are doing to people suffering from chronic pain, I have screwed my back up at the moment and it is agony at times (temporary I hope and nothing compared to your pain though) and if it wasn't for the mj I would be spending a lot of time sitting around doing nothing due to the pain of moving.

 

The phoenixes' ash is beginning to fall; my husband picked a fight with me. Without warning he slammed me into the exterior wall of our house. I remember I took three or four very quick steps back before my right shoulder smashed into the wall, followed by my upper back (between the shoulder blades), then my lower back hit hard. My memory goes hazy and so it will remain there for too long. My shoulder snaps, cracks, grinds, and pops when it is in motion. The lower back had a one-inch high and round bump over the spine and between the vertebra. This is what started my condition, a nasty type of chronic pain, and very hard to diagnose. It is called Fibromyalgia; pray you never get it. But it would be almost 4 years before I would know. My life as I had known it was over.

You ex is a cowardly prick and I hope he has the decency to be ashamed of what he did to you but that type rarely do, karma will sort him out as it always does with that special sort of low-life, people like that are crippled inside and don't deserve a partner like you.

 

loves420, it seems to me like you have been re-born from the ashes and are sorting your life and future out which I know takes a lot of guts and determination with a condition like Fibro myalgia, here is a good med site that has a few members with your condition, CCC, they may be able to give you a bit more information on how they deal with it.

 

[loves420]

I forgot to add this this is the end of it. Medical marijuana has restored my quality of life. Before I wanted to die, but now I want to live. I now take 6 pills a day, if it a regular day. On a bad day, I take no more then ten pills. But bad days are rare.

Besides fibro, i also have Post Dramatic Stress Disorder (PDSD) MJ even helps me here :smoke

 

Thanks for the med site, Tom.

My ex doeen't even admit he did this. He wasn't thrown in prison/jail. He wasn't even arrested for this. And yet police arrest how many poeple for mj. :scratchin

 

its been a little over 4 years now, heres what karma had done to him so far. He's broken restraining order (a no contact ordered from the court) countless times. when will he learn he has never paid the full amount of child support, if i'm lucky ill see half. he's over $20,000 in debt not including 9% interest in child support. he hasn't even started with the settlement from the divorce, it was 8,000 now around 10,000.

he's about to go to jail for contept of court. His heart...oh his heart. ......................developed a hole in the middle of it. he had to get open heart surgry. he's trying to get on disability now. He can't keep a job over 6 months. he would rather drink then work. The #1 main reason for our fights was him drinking and driving. this is nothing compared to what is coming. he did something so sick, i can't explain it now.

 

:smoke peace

[F420]

Well your right, you did bring a tear to my eye. I wish I could reach through your computer monitor and just give you a hug. :crying:

 

As I kinda know where your coming from, as I also am a medical user. My main use is for pain relief also.

 

I find this very useful for severe Scoliosis this causes things like torn neck ligaments etc, severe pain, I also get those spinal headaces and they really suck. nothing seems to help other than a few puffs.

 

I get this intense pain at the top of my neck where it kinda joins the skull, it is so bad at times that it feels like someone hit you on the back of the head with a cricket bat.

I often get this pain about half way down my neck, I recently had a snapped tendon which they say was caused by my spine being bent out of shape causing one side to pull and the other side releases. its like my head is trying to be laying down like my ear on my shoulder sorta thing.

My pain can go from my problem area called Mid-thorasic which is basically just below my shoulder blades.

I suffer from Chronic fatigue. but for me im always sore and tired. Most nights I have to get up and have a few cones to get back to sleep. I imagine you do the same thing?

That is when I can sleep which is only when i smoke pot. If I dont have a few cones at night then I just stay awake and cannot sleep, even with smoking it still happens sometimes just not as often.

 

You know im convinced that when I think im sleeping im actually not, It feels like im only half sleeping if that makes sense. Even if I get so wasted that I pass out and sleep for 8 hours Im still feeling like I havent been asleep at all.

Which is bloody annoying as it causes problems in the marriage as she thinks im being a lazy stoner and not mowing lawns, washing the dishes and doing all those normal things fuckl its a real struggle just to get out of bed.

 

 

My doctors havent mentioned this FM to me before, is this something a man can get??

All they keep saying is that none of the scans etc are finding anything physical and that it could just be my spine being overloaded with messages?? what message I dont know.

 

Alot of what you have desribed sums up alot of my body problems also, I have also done all the tests, even had spinal fluid removed and tested OUCH!!

cat scans, full body scans etc. But still they say im just fucked in the head. I will be researching this condition more. They now want me to have surgery and metal plates and shit put in my back. I wont let them,.

They keep blaming my scoloisis but to me it sounds more like FM.

 

Most nights I end up in tears and cry in to my pillow, the pain is just unreal as you know. (oh and im not the sort of bloke you would think would even cry)My mrs thinks im loosing it big time, and keeps at me to get on more antidepressants.

Im already taking some(endep) because its supposed to stop some of the pain.

 

My feet feel like they might explode, They reakon it caused by Gout in my case. but I tried the gout medication(allopuranol(spelt wrongly sorry) and it didnt work, all it did was to give me kidney stones, bad enough to need to be admitted to hospital, and kept on morphine for 2 weeks until it was removed.

 

My mrs just doesnt understand me and this has caused us to be sleeping in different rooms, You see she likes sleeping with the fan on due to the heat at night in queensland. but she doesnt understand that when im laying there even the cool air hitting my feet feels like its heat from a blow torch.

 

Some days but not all that often I cant walk, because I get this really bad pain on the back side and just below my knees. It feels like pressure building up and its just too painful to walk on. I even had my computer besides my bed as Im addicted to ozstoners .

 

I feel really bad for what your ex has done to you also, what an asshole.

I just hope he gets what he deserves. and he certainly doesnt deserve you babe.

 

People here Like Tom have seen what I turn in to when pain gets on top of me.

I was on so many different medications that it was costing me around $100-00 a month just to try and control the pain.

But this had a worst effect on me, I became a angry person that just used to fly off the handle over nothing. I even pulled on guy out of his car and touched him up after he cut me off on my bike. I yelled at everyone, I couldnt talk to my MRS or kids without yelling. I then turned to stronger drugs and became addicted to speed, ( i had overcome needles, but started using again) So in the end they walked out on me. This was the end of me as I knew it and I tried to commit suicide, both times I failed and the last time I ended up in a Phyco ward.

 

They kept me there until the needles were out of my system, apparently I went burko a few times but I dont remember this.

So They let me out and I was dry again, I then stayed on the weed for around 12 months and it was good.

I had a close call and was almost busted, well the stress of that on top of the stress of living a life in hell was too much. SO I went and talked with both my GP and the pain specialist about going back on there medications. To my supprise thay told me not to go back to the prescription but rather stick with the marijuana.

They even told me that if I was busted that they would back me up in court to say that they saw how the MJ was helping and what the doctors medicines had done to me.

 

SHit, Im really sorry I didnt mean to write a book.

Just know we are all thinking of you and care about you.

CCC is a good site and im also a member of it.

 

:crying:

 

Here is a copy of an email a family member sent me, So im sending it to you also-

 

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and

four-year old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was

blurred, and his step faltered.

 

The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky

hands and failing sight made eating difficult.

 

Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled

on the tablecloth. The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess.

"We must do something about Grandfather," said the son.

I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor. So

the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone

while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish

or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl.

 

When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometime he had a tear in

his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him Were sharp

admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food. The four-year-old watched it

all in silence. One evening before supper, the

father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child

sweetly, "What are you making?"

Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you

and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up." The four-year-old smiled and

went back to work. The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless.

Then tears started to stream down their cheeks.

Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done. That evening the husband

took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the

remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason,

neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk

spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

 

On a positive note, I've learned that, no matter what happens how bad it seems

today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you

can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles three things: a rainy day,

lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I've learned that, regardless of your relationship with your parents,

you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.

I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making

a "life." I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second

chance.

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt

on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.

I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But, if you

focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the

very best you can, happiness will find you.

I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually

make the right decision.

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've

learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone. People love that

human touch -- holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

[loves420]

Ferengi420, We are the lucky ones to find that mj is beneficial for our healing. I can relate to a injuried neck. about a year ago, I got into a car accident. i had a green light but someone ran a red light. broke C2. the 2nd vertebra down from the skull. like I needed this.

you explain it very well.

I have chronic insomma and fatigue. this is normal for FM. Yes, I'm like you if I don't smoke, I won't sleep until i'm exhausted = afew days. if mj starts to fail change strains.

 

"You know im convinced that when I think im sleeping im actually not, It feels like im only half sleeping if that makes sense. Even if I get so wasted that I pass out and sleep for 8 hours Im still feeling like I havent been asleep at all."

 

I have the same problem from time to time.

 

"My doctors havent mentioned this FM to me before, is this something a man can get??"

Yes, men can get FM. although most people with FM are women.

 

"All they keep saying is that none of the scans etc are finding anything physical and that it could just be my spine being overloaded with messages?? what message I dont know.

Alot of what you have desribed sums up alot of my body problems also, I have also done all the tests, even had spinal fluid removed and tested OUCH!!cat scans, full body scans etc. But still they say im just fucked in the head."

 

I have lost count of how many I heard something similar to this. I have seen many doctors scratch their heads and not have a clue what wrong with me. FM mimics many conditions, it normally take 4-6 yrs to diagnose. A pain specializist diagnosed me. When I was diagnosed it was a blessing and a curse. Blessing because it has a name and I'm not going insane. A Curse because the doctors can't do anything.

 

"Most nights I end up in tears and cry in to my pillow, the pain is just unreal as you know. (oh and im not the sort of bloke you would think would even cry)My mrs thinks im loosing it big time, and keeps at me to get on more antidepressants.

Im already taking some(endep) because its supposed to stop some of the pain. "

 

I been there. and boy does it suck :thumbdown my doc wants me on antidepressants but I refuse. Last time i was one I almost commited suicide.

 

 

"My feet feel like they might explode..."

"My mrs just doesnt understand me and this has caused us to be sleeping in different rooms, You see she likes sleeping with the fan on due to the heat at night in queensland. but she doesnt understand that when im laying there even the cool air hitting my feet feels like its heat from a blow torch."

 

with FM this feeling can be anything. even a bone or just the skin. Sometimes my skin feel like its being dragged throw glass and nails when a feather lighty brushed against me.

 

 

"Some days but not all that often I cant walk, because I get this really bad pain on the back side and just below my knees. It feels like pressure building up and its just too painful to walk on. "

 

As you know i've been there too many times. it usally includes the hip. And if I'm this bad, FM has set off a migraine.Only 10% of FM suffers get migraine, and all are in the severe cases. unfortunately FM get worst over time as I understand it. I will end up on disability.

Edited November 12, 2004 by loves420

[F420]

I think the best we can do is grow our own and hope and prey that one day at least people like us will be able to control our own medical conditions in the manner that we wish.

 

In the mean time, Im always here for you and anyone else with a medical condition to lend an ear or offer some advice in the growing of your own meds.

[Luke Skywalker]

Yeah, me too. It would be nice to have a medical mj club in Oz, but I don't know who'd be willing to run such a difficult venture. Where's brash when ya need 'im....

 

Good to hear that MJ is saving another life.

[F420]

I would just like to grab you and give you a huge hug,

Im not a fucking nut case!!!!!

 

I have spoken to my GP and he agrees with me having Fibromyalgia.

Im kinda sad and I hope I dont get any where near as bad as you do, but there you have it. He also said that not many have the migraines as I do but that it doesnt mean that mine will get worst.

he suggested emu oil?? whatever that is.

Im 32 and have FM.

 

At first he was thinking I may have a showing of symptoms of MS, as my mum also has it. But they ran the tests and did a brain scan and nothing. no spots etc.

 

I know know alot more on this topic,

apparenlty the reason why we dont sleep is due to us not getting to all stages of sleep.

something called non-REM.

bascially he came up with it because I have had this as an ongoing thing that I have been trying to diagnose for a few years now.

And all of my pain points are apparenlty FM trigger points.

they done a heap more blood tests and everything is perfect well my cholestrol is around 4. but that ok.

He has given me a script for Tylenol and ultram. but I wont be taking them as Im worried about my kidneys etc. I already suffer from stones. I didnt go to him for more scripts hell I have enough already!

he also was talking about some injections that help with the pain.

 

 

At least now I know that im not just a crazy pothead.

 

thank you from the bottom of my heart.!! :thumbsup

[pipeman]

But they ran the tests and did a brain scan and nothing.

 

::

[F420]

[loves420]

Ferengi420

It's good to hear your not a nut case, and I'm glad I could help. The not knowing of what's wrong with me is what always bugged me. Almost every time I go to my doc, I have least one new and stronger scripts. I hate pills. As of now, my current pills don't work and my pain/mood is getting harder to control. I see my doc next week.My only relief is my mmj; the one that doesn't fail me.

 

Sorry I didn't respond eailer. I'm a college student and its the end of the term. I, also, am getting ready to take my ex back to court next week. needless to say I've been under a lot of stress.

peace

:smoke