Noses go cold tracking drugs

[Matanuska Thunder]

Monday View Mike O'Connor

20jun05

Courier Mail

 

Noses go cold tracking drugs

 

Another week looms and with it the ever present chance of having my crotch sniffed by a Queensland Police Service labrador.

 

I read recent reports of the vigilance of our dauntless law enforcers with some alarm, noting that the canine cops were operating in the Toowong area. I live in the Toowong area and have noticed that since the news of the drug doggies broke, the mere sight of a yapper on a leash has been sufficient to send your average, drug-crazed layabout fleeing towards the wooded hills of Mt Coot-tha.

 

I imagine it's only a matter of time before I feel the cold nose of the law nudging up the leg of my shorts in search of a cache of cannabis, only to find three dollars in loose change, a slightly used tissue and a note reminding myself to pick up the dry cleaning.

 

The police service has defended using dogs to sniff people at Toowong and other railway stations as part of its never-ending fight to bring the city's drug barons to justice.

 

Toowong, alas, did not prove to be a happy hunting ground, as the two innocent Irish tourists who were cornered by a squad of plainclothes and uniformed police and a labrador with a malfunctioning sense of smell, would attest.

 

You just can't help but wonder, however, if railway crotch sniffing is really the way to go if you're serious about dealing with the drug problem.

 

I would have thought, for example, that if you were a successful drug dealer, you would be able to afford a car. I've seen all the movies and believe me, your Colombian cocaine cartel members do not catch the train.

 

You would think that even a moderately successful Brisbane dealer – and I'm not putting the local boys down here, for I'm sure they are every bit as good as their southern counterparts – would be able to afford a second-hand BMW.

 

So it would be reasonable to presume that we're not talking about breaking the Brisbane Connection unless Mr Big's chauffeur is on his day off, there are no cabs and the limo companies are all busy and, accordingly, he is reduced to walking down to the Toowong train station with several kilos of heroin sewn into the lining of his Armani suit.

 

A police spokesman said the people targeted by Operation Crotch Sniff – OK, I made that bit up – were selected on their appearance.

 

Here's a tip. If you are in the habit of ferrying large quantities of drugs through the Toowong railway station, whatever you do don't dress like an innocent Irish tourist or you'll get busted for certain.

 

Sweaty palms, an unkempt, unshaven appearance, platform pacing and nail biting also should, I imagine, be avoided where possible.

 

What is your suburban drug dealer wearing these days? Are they going casual? Given that they are catching the train, we can presume that some of the better Italian and French labels do not feature largely in their wardrobes.

 

Only the police and their labradors know for sure what a drug suspect looks like – one woof for drug dealer, two woofs for Irish tourist – or was that one woof for Irish tourist and two woofs for . . . ?

 

Police have said that a number of people were charged in relation to the operation.

 

Obviously, they were all minor possession charges or else the police media unit would have been marching up and down the Queen Street Mall with beating drums and blaring trumpets, announcing this success.

 

What an enormous waste of time and resource it was, sending squads of uniformed and plainclothes police and their dogs to train stations on the wild, one-in-a-million chance that they will see someone acting suspiciously and that the labrador will be able to tell the difference between a kilo of hash and a cheese sandwich.

 

I understand the significance of dogs at airports and even clubs where drug use is known or suspected, but wandering around train stations with Lily the Labrador in the hope of busting some poor bugger with a joint in his backpack sounds like an out-take from Comedy Capers.

 

One would have thought that plainclothes officer in particular would have more promising lines of inquiry to pursue.

 

It's a shame I no longer have my black poodle to donate to the police service. Given to falling passionately in love with and attempting to mate with any ankle in sight, he would have given the Irish tourists something to tell their mates about back in Dublin.

[quizywig]

whats going to happen when they start walking these dogs up and down suburban streets, ppl be getting busted left right and centre,

search warants wont help as leo's have the authority to enter any premises where they belive a crime is or maybe commited.