Gday, Ive been using cannabis to manage depression and anxiety. One of the directives was that I had to be able to manage the quality control, wich is the Dr way of saying grow dont buy.
The past ten years have been a living hell. I quite literally needed to anebriate myself to be able to deal with the pile of shit the universe dished up, what doesnt kill you makes you stonger? Not sure about that. I feel very broken. I am not the man of motion and means I used to be. I was the guy that organised the shit that made things happen; and I feel like someone has taken a hit out on my insides. Ive been robbed. Shot in the head, crushed from on high and maybe this arrogant SOB needed this done.
Recently I was diaganosed as a Tybe B Narcissist. NPD is being reclassified. A pyschopath/sociopath is the classic narcissist. narcissisism is an important part of society. These narcissistic qualities are the qualities that make up a leader. Society being divided into basically three gorups of ppl.
The ruling class the preist/warrior class and the cultural class, that is everyone else butchers bakers and candle stick makers. When a person with narcissist qualities gets injured and if that injury is deep enough then the world is visited by a kind of monster.
My family has been deeply effected by a paedophile, my daughter was 6 months when another spider came along. Not only this but my wife had just left me. So my daughter was being pursued by a known paedophile (he was run out of a town called Trangie because someone couldnt give an exact time and date, in court, so the case was thown out.) This set of a supernova deep inside my conscouisness, and I went total vigilante, I didn't feel I could trust the police with this. Probably my arrogance talking; I figured if it was going to be done properly then IT would need to be done by me.
However, the case when u walk the path of vengence is that violence follows you. The deeper I went the more I saw the darker I became.
MIRACLES are a strange thing. I've prayed for the sfelty of my family for ten years and I finally have custody of the only jewel I have ever cared about. My X's has a new partner and as a consequence I now have full custody of my kid. I couldnt be happier.
HOWEVER. due to the precarious situation Canna's castle of cannabis had to come crashing down, wich ment I needed to deal with my useage wich was FUCKING extreme. I really lot track of how much i was smoking. I used to be a gram a day and that was some time ago. Id estimate during a working week Id smoke 3 grams a nite easily, prolly more, and If I had oil Id been spotting that inbetween cones. I'd like to know how much canna was in circulation. This is the second time Ive tired to come down on my usage. The first time was only sevaral months ago. Darth was back from India so we both smoked hard for 3 weeks all day every day, the I went cold turkey so I could fly to Sydney, I didnt want to risk taking stuff trough a domestic terminal. The shock and the fact that I was too proud to swallow my own vallium put me in hospital. The symptoms were, vomiting massive anxiety sweats I went into a hyperoxiginated state without actually passiing out. In short I felt really fucked.
NOW TO BE CLEAR, comeing of MJ isnt the causeative agent. I was More anxious than any medication could handle. 10 mg of vallium and I still needed to hit the gym to get rid of the shakes. AND I was totally out of a pure indica variety. I have way too much TD I may as well throw that out TOTALLY useless to me. I need medically pure indica for teh anxiety and prolly never need to smoke a high THC variety ever again. I sure dont feel depressed. Im happy with my lot now.... I just need to stop shaking and I dont want to swallow vallium any more.
So thanks to those that noticed my abscence, u are my brother and my sister and I love you. I am OK; and as I look back over the past ten years now; well i feel I should quote the French foreign legion. Je ne regrette rien.
PS Im roughly 2 weeks without a smoke. I didnt mark the calenda, I find that conter productive. I just put my head down and keep going cold turkey is still the only way.
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Question
iTiC
Gday, Ive been using cannabis to manage depression and anxiety. One of the directives was that I had to be able to manage the quality control, wich is the Dr way of saying grow dont buy.
The past ten years have been a living hell. I quite literally needed to anebriate myself to be able to deal with the pile of shit the universe dished up, what doesnt kill you makes you stonger? Not sure about that. I feel very broken. I am not the man of motion and means I used to be. I was the guy that organised the shit that made things happen; and I feel like someone has taken a hit out on my insides. Ive been robbed. Shot in the head, crushed from on high and maybe this arrogant SOB needed this done.
Recently I was diaganosed as a Tybe B Narcissist. NPD is being reclassified. A pyschopath/sociopath is the classic narcissist. narcissisism is an important part of society. These narcissistic qualities are the qualities that make up a leader. Society being divided into basically three gorups of ppl.
The ruling class the preist/warrior class and the cultural class, that is everyone else butchers bakers and candle stick makers. When a person with narcissist qualities gets injured and if that injury is deep enough then the world is visited by a kind of monster.
My family has been deeply effected by a paedophile, my daughter was 6 months when another spider came along. Not only this but my wife had just left me. So my daughter was being pursued by a known paedophile (he was run out of a town called Trangie because someone couldnt give an exact time and date, in court, so the case was thown out.) This set of a supernova deep inside my conscouisness, and I went total vigilante, I didn't feel I could trust the police with this. Probably my arrogance talking; I figured if it was going to be done properly then IT would need to be done by me.
However, the case when u walk the path of vengence is that violence follows you. The deeper I went the more I saw the darker I became.
MIRACLES are a strange thing. I've prayed for the sfelty of my family for ten years and I finally have custody of the only jewel I have ever cared about. My X's has a new partner and as a consequence I now have full custody of my kid. I couldnt be happier.
HOWEVER. due to the precarious situation Canna's castle of cannabis had to come crashing down, wich ment I needed to deal with my useage wich was FUCKING extreme. I really lot track of how much i was smoking. I used to be a gram a day and that was some time ago. Id estimate during a working week Id smoke 3 grams a nite easily, prolly more, and If I had oil Id been spotting that inbetween cones. I'd like to know how much canna was in circulation. This is the second time Ive tired to come down on my usage. The first time was only sevaral months ago. Darth was back from India so we both smoked hard for 3 weeks all day every day, the I went cold turkey so I could fly to Sydney, I didnt want to risk taking stuff trough a domestic terminal. The shock and the fact that I was too proud to swallow my own vallium put me in hospital. The symptoms were, vomiting massive anxiety sweats I went into a hyperoxiginated state without actually passiing out. In short I felt really fucked.
NOW TO BE CLEAR, comeing of MJ isnt the causeative agent. I was More anxious than any medication could handle. 10 mg of vallium and I still needed to hit the gym to get rid of the shakes. AND I was totally out of a pure indica variety. I have way too much TD I may as well throw that out TOTALLY useless to me. I need medically pure indica for teh anxiety and prolly never need to smoke a high THC variety ever again. I sure dont feel depressed. Im happy with my lot now.... I just need to stop shaking and I dont want to swallow vallium any more.
So thanks to those that noticed my abscence, u are my brother and my sister and I love you. I am OK; and as I look back over the past ten years now; well i feel I should quote the French foreign legion. Je ne regrette rien.
PS Im roughly 2 weeks without a smoke. I didnt mark the calenda, I find that conter productive. I just put my head down and keep going cold turkey is still the only way.
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