New super-strength dope blows cop's mind

[boulder]

Potheads are fooling police all over Oz with a new cannabis plant that looks like a carnation bush- but is so heavy-duty its nickname is skunkweed!

 

It took Queensland police ages to work out why loads of long-haired types with bloodshot eyes were laying around clutching bouquets of the flower, normally popular only at weddings and with old ladies.

 

"This plant is unlike any other seen in Queensland," said Det Sgt Dunn of Brisbane, one of the first cops to encounter it.

 

"Its leaves are different and, to look at, it appears to be a small stocky shrub. But this plant is more stocky than the marijuana plant."

 

What he's saying is that it's a hopped-up, sexually mutated dwarf devil's weed straight from the sordid streets of Amsterdam's red-light district.

 

Crafty Dutch wacky-baccy fiends carefully cultivated a bastard strain of the gaga-inducing drug to look like the harmless bud. Tulips from Amsterdam? Not on your nelly, missus.

 

This new weed is said to be more powerful than the regular gear, and costs up to 50 per cent more to buy on the street.

 

It's sometimes called skull cap, woodbine or indiana, but is best known as skunkweed.

 

But police smelled something was up when the electricity board noticed huge surges in power usage from an address in Capalaba, a coastal suburb of Brisbane.

 

The equipment used to nurture the hydroponically-grown plant uses massive amounts of electricity.

 

To account for their you-must-be-fucking-joking-sized "flower" power bills, growers invent cover firms to make dopes of the authorities. But neighbours complained that their lights were dimming and were suspicious when occupants of the house mysteriously boarded up its windows.

 

When police raided the house, they found enough puff to give half the crowd at Woodstock dizzy sensations and fits of the giggles.

 

But even the veteran plodders didn't know what they were looking at.

 

Making sure to leave no stone unturned, they finally blew the pot plot after sending the plant for tests and finding it was possible to make funny fags from it.

 

Northern NSW marijuana grower "Bob" says the new drug is starting to catch on in a big way.

 

"Skunk is really starting to happen," he said, "particularly in Melbourne where it's grown on a large scale. Commercial cultivation has quickly become very sophisticated- one mob in Sydney spent over $100,000 on equipment. Another group of people rented five houses in Sydney."

 

But he warns: "There are dope users who don't want anything to do with it. Some people think it's too strong and too physical. It knocks you around too much and users get sick of it after a while."

 

In other words, it may look like a carnation but you won't be wearing it with a white sports coat.

 

In fact you'll be thanking you're lucky stars if you somehow managed to get dressed at all!

[pipeman]

...this is too funny. Whoever wrote that article is a very confused individual.

[boulder]

Yup, but he/she will probably end up with a thirty three thousand dollar research grant from the Gov.

[Guest Babybear]

haha fucken sweet ass so um is it weed or what

i know there is some times some sortas herb out there that u can get same high but its lkike half the price as weed hehe

[boulder]

There's a few line bred and inbred mutations around but the true test of time will see if their any different from the norm.