Kiddies with kiddies... or are they?

[Teucer]

I ususally wouldn't post this on a pot site, however in this case humour is the only method of dealing with the story imho. I've included all follow up reports as well - this is BRILLIANT to read when you're stoned!

 

And you're thinking I'm being insensitive about this, bwaaaahhhh! Have a cone, relax and LAUGH some! It's only when you read the follow-ups that the humour REALLY begins in earnest...

 

Oh yeah, you might wanna know that this is running as TOP NEWS on both fairfax and news sites. Proles...

 

Author: Lucy Hagan

Date: Feb 14, 2009

Source: www.news.com.au / www.thesun.co.uk

Copyright: Associated Press

 

Baby-faced boy Alfie Patten is father at 13

 

BOY dad Alfie Patten yesterday admitted he does not know how much nappies cost — but said: “I think it’s a lot.”

 

Baby-faced Alfie, who is 13 but looks more like eight, became a father four days ago when his girlfriend Chantelle Steadman gave birth to 7lb 3oz Maisie Roxanne.

 

He told how he and Chantelle, 15, decided against an abortion after discovering she was pregnant.

 

The shy lad, whose voice has not yet broken, said: “I thought it would be good to have a baby.

 

“I didn’t think about how we would afford it. I don’t really get pocket money. My dad sometimes gives me £10.”

 

Alfie, who is just 4ft tall, added: “When my mum found out, I thought I was going to get in trouble. We wanted to have the baby but were worried how people would react.

 

“I didn’t know what it would be like to be a dad. I will be good, though, and care for it.”

 

Alfie's story, broken exclusively by The Sun today has sparked a huge political storm with Tory leader David Cameron saying: "When I saw these pictures this morning, I just thought how worrying that in Britain today children are having children.

 

"I hope that somehow these children grow up into responsible parents but the truth is parenthood is just not something they should be thinking about right now."

 

Secret

 

PM Gordon Brown refused to comment directly on the story but said it was important that the Government did all it could to prevent teenage pregnancies.

 

Alfie’s dad Dennis yesterday told how the lad does not really understand the enormity of his situation — but seemed desperate to be a devoted and responsible father.

 

He wanted to be the first to hold Maisie after the hospital birth. He tenderly kisses the baby and gives her a bottle.

 

And Dennis, 45, said: “He could have shrugged his shoulders and sat at home on his Playstation. But he has been at the hospital every day.”

 

Maisie was conceived after Chantelle and Alfie — just 12 at the time — had a single night of unprotected sex.

 

They found out about the baby when Chantelle was 12 weeks pregnant.

 

But they kept it a secret until six weeks later when Chantelle’s mum Penny, 38, became suspicious about her weight gain and confronted her.

 

After that Alfie’s family told only those closest to them for fear he would be “demonised” at school.

 

Chantelle gave birth to Maisie on Monday night after a five-hour labour at Eastbourne Hospital, East Sussex.

 

Last night she told The Sun: “I’m tired after the birth. I was nervous after going into labour but otherwise I was quite excited.”

 

Chantelle told how she discovered she was expecting after going to her GP with “really bad” stomach pains. She said: “Me and Alfie went. The doctor asked me whether we had sex. I said yes and he said I should do a pregnancy test. He did the test and said I was pregnant. I started crying and didn’t know what to do.

 

“He said I should tell my mum but I was too scared.

 

“We didn’t think we would need help from our parents. You don’t really think about that when you find out you are pregnant. You just think your parents will kill you.”

 

But Penny figured out what was going on after buying Chantelle a T-shirt which revealed her swelling tum.

 

Chantelle admitted she and Alfie — who are both being supported by their parents — would be accused of being grossly irresponsible. She said: “We know we made a mistake but I wouldn’t change it now. We will be good loving parents.

 

“I have started a church course and I am going to do work experience helping other young mums.

 

“I’ll be a great mum and Alfie will be a great dad.”

 

Chantelle and Maisie were released from hospital yesterday. They are living with Penny, Chantelle’s jobless dad Steve, 43, and her five brothers in a rented council house in Eastbourne. The family live on benefits. Alfie, who lives on an estate across town with mum Nicola, 43, spends most of his time at the Steadmans’ house.

 

He is allowed to stay overnight and even has a school uniform there so he can go straight to his classes in the morning.

 

Alfie’s dad, who is separated from Nicola, believes the lad is scared deep down.

 

He said: “Everyone is telling him things and it’s going round in his head. It hasn’t really dawned on him. He hasn’t got a clue of what the baby means and can’t explain how he feels. All he knows is mum and dad will help.

 

“When you mention money his eyes look away. And she is reliant on her mum and dad. It’s crazy. They have no idea what lies ahead.”

 

Dennis, who works for a vehicle recovery firm, described Alfie as “a typical 13-year-old boy”.

 

He said: “He loves computer games, boxing and Manchester United.” Dennis, who has fathered nine kids, told how he was “gobsmacked” when he discovered Alfie was to be a dad, too.

 

He said: “When I spoke to him he started crying. He said it was the first time he’d had sex, that he didn’t know what he was doing and of the complications that could come.

 

“I will talk to him again and it will be the birds and the bees talk. Some may say it’s too late but he needs to understand so there is not another baby.”

 

Lovely

 

Chantelle’s mum said: “I told her it was lovely to have the baby but I wish it was in different circumstances. We have five children already so it’s a big financial responsibility. But we are a family and will pull together and get through.

 

“She’s my daughter. I love her and she will want for nothing.”

 

Last night Michaela Aston, of the anti-abortion Christian charity LIFE, said: “We commend these teenagers for their courage in bringing their child into the world.

 

“At the same time this is symptomatic of the over-sexualisation of our youngsters and shows the policy of value-free sex education just isn’t working.”

 

Today Sussex Police and the local council's children services said they have investigated the case and pledged continued support for the young parents.

 

Britain’s youngest known father is Sean Stewart. He became a dad at 12 when the girl next door, 15-year-old Emma Webster, gave birth in Sharnbrook, Bedford, in 1998. They split six months later.

 

But wait, theres more....

Edited February 15, 2009 by Teucer

[Teucer]

Author: By James Weatherup & Carole Aye Maung

Date: 15 Feb 2009

Source: www.news.com.au

Copyright: News of the World

 

I'm the real daddy, Alfie

And I want a DNA test to prove it

 

A SECOND teenage boy last night claimed HE—and NOT 13-year-old Alfie Patten—is the REAL dad of 15-year-old Chantelle Steadman’s newborn baby Maisie.

 

Richard Goodsell, aged 16, insisted he often shared a bed with Chantelle over a period of THREE MONTHS around the time she fell pregnant—and sensationally demanded a DNA test to PROVE he’s the daddy.

 

Young mum Chantelle and baby-faced 13-year-old Alfie Patten made headlines around the world this week when they told their story, vowing to be good parents to their six-day-old daughter.

 

But the News of the World can today reveal that as well as second maybe-dad Richard a THIRD lad, 14-year-old Tyler Barker, fears he may have fathered little Maisie.

 

And amazingly the News Of The World has uncovered claims that Chantelle was sleeping with as many as EIGHT teenage boys around the time the baby was conceived on the Old Town estate in Eastbourne, Sussex.

 

Richard, a trainee chef, said he had sex at least three times with Chantelle at her home, adding: “I KNOW I could be the father. Everyone thinks I am. My friends all tell me that baby has my eyes— even my mum thinks so.

 

“Only a DNA test is going to sort this out properly. If I am the father, I have the right to know.”

Hope

 

And anxious schoolboy Tyler admitted: “I slept with Chantelle in her bed about nine months ago and I’m really worried I could be the father.

 

“I hope it’s NOT me. All my mates have been teasing me about it but this isn’t funny, it’s serious.”

 

Both boys and their parents have made sworn statements in front of a solicitor detailing their nights of sex with Chantelle.

 

But Chantelle’s family insist she lost her virginity to Alfie and 7lb 3oz Maisie—born after a five-hour labour at Eastbourne Hospital—is his.

 

Four-foot Alfie says the baby was conceived when he was just 12 after a single night of unprotected sex. Chantelle claimed she was on the Pill but forgot to take it.

 

However, Richard last night challenged that, insisting HE was the first in a series of teenage lovers to go with Chantelle.

 

“We got together within the first week of her moving here about two years ago,” he said.

 

“She was 13 and I was 14. We dated after meeting at the local shops and I liked her. I thought she was pretty. I used to stay overnight at her house on Fridays and Saturdays.

 

“We used to sleep in the same bed and within two weeks we’d had full sex. It was in her bedroom while her mum was downstairs.

 

“We didn’t use any contraception. It wasn’t my first time. But when we split up I found out that she was having sex with lots of other boys I knew.

 

"Me and my mates fell out over it.” Richard then reeled off a list of 14 and 15-year-old boys who, he claims, slept with Chantelle.

 

The teenager — who is studying catering at Sussex Downs College — claimed: “To be honest, any one of my mates could be the dad.

 

“Even Chantelle’s mum asked me if I was the father.

 

“Alfie is saying he’s definitely the dad—but we’re not so sure.

 

“I was Chantelle’s closest friend and she said I could be part of the baby’s life if I wanted.

 

“She wanted me to be there as a father figure but I didn’t fancy that because I have college early in the morning and I didn’t want to get up in the night to feed the baby.

 

"Now though, I just want to face up to it and know the truth.”

 

Richard’s mother Barbie-Jayne, 35, backs his story. She has five kids and was a teenager when she gave birth to Richard.

 

Last night she proudly boasted of twice appearing on TV’s Trisha show as a guest on programmes about having an overbearing personality and overactive sex life.

 

The third lad in the frame, Tyler, also alleged Chantelle bedded a string of teenagers—a claim she denies. He told us: “There’s a huge question mark over who the real father is. There’s every chance it could be me—but I hope it’s not.

 

“Having sex with her was the worst mistake I’ve ever made in my life. I wish I’d never met her.

 

“To be honest I didn’t really fancy her. She asked me out a couple of times when she moved down here but I kept turning her down. I thought she was ugly.

 

“Now I’m terrified that I could be the daddy, and I’m not the only one.

 

“There are at least five other boys that I know who were all sleeping with her around that time. They’re all now wondering, ‘Is it me?’

 

“It was routine for boys to stay over with her in her bed.

 

“But I only slept with her the once. It was on a Sunday last May shortly after my 14th birthday and it was in her room.

 

“The next morning at 8.30am, when she should have been going to school, she was helping tidy the house and look after her baby brother.

 

“I didn’t go to school either and before I left, she told me, ‘If you keep it a secret, you can keep coming back for more.’ Those were her exact words.”

 

Tyler’s dad, Chris Ireland, 44, said: “I had no idea Tyler was round at Chantelle’s house because he was meant to be with a mate.

 

“But when it came out that she was pregnant he came to see me and confessed he HAD slept with her.

 

“It was about nine months ago and we were very worried. He told me he had full sex with her and I was thinking, ‘Oh God, he can’t be the father.’

 

I even had a proper chat with him about his responsibilities and about what he’d have to do if he was the dad.

 

“But it turns out there are quite a lot of boys who’ve been with her. Alfie Patten is just one of them.

 

Only a DNA will determine the truth but I don’t think they’re about to have one.”

 

Chris, who runs the Eastbourne Utd Colts Under-15 football team, added: “There’s not a lot for young lads to do round here. They all hang around in groups of guys and girls on the streets—it’s a cocktail for disaster.

 

“My football team are a good bunch of lads but it only keeps them off the streets three days a week.”

 

Chris also claimed that Chantelle’s mother Penny and Richard’s mother Barbie-Jayne were embroiled in a huge row in the street several months ago.

Grim

 

He claimed: “Babs and Penny had this noisy altercation after it was discovered that Chantelle was pregnant.

 

“It was over rumours that the father of the baby was Babs’ son Richard.”

 

Young Tyler’s own mother left six years ago. With a history of anger management problems he was permanently excluded from school for three months but is about to restart his education.

 

As he detailed his own concerns he painted a grim picture of life on the Old Town estate—with appalling parallels to Channel 4 comedy drama show Shameless.

 

The only difference is the total absence of anything remotely funny.

 

... Really? How else do Aussies deal with stuff like this lmao!

 

And another:

[Teucer]

Time to light up another folks...This sure beats the Mercedes/Jody fiasco...

 

Author: HARRY HAYDON

Date: 16 Feb 2009

Source: www.news.com.au / The Sun

Copyright: AP

 

Alfie agrees to take DNA test

 

BOY dad Alfie Patten has said he WILL take a DNA test to prove he is the father of his teen girlfriend's child.

 

Alfie, 13, was shockingly revealed as Britain's youngest dad by The Sun last week after Chantelle Steadman gave birth to baby girl Maisie.

 

But it has emerged today that THREE other local youths are claiming to be the father of the child.

 

Reputation

 

And Alfie has said he is happy to take a paternity test to prove he is the father and protect 15-year-old Chantelle's reputation.

 

Speaking from his home in Essex yesterday Alfie said: "Other stupid boys are lying, saying bad things, like they have slept with Chantelle too.

 

Read about who is claiming to be the real father at The News of the World.

 

"But I am the only boyfriend she has had and we've been together for two years, so I must be the dad.

 

"When she found out she was having a baby, I asked her 'Am I the dad?' and she went 'Yeah' so I believe her.

 

"I didn't know about DNA tests before, but Mum explained it's when they do a swab in your mouth and it tells you if you're the dad.

 

"So, if I have that, they can all shut up. But I don't really care what people say. And I don't like them being bad about Chantelle."

 

Alfie's dad Dennis - who dumped wife Nicola, 43, for a teenage friend of her eldest daughter - is clearly pushing for the test.

 

Love-rat Dennis said this weekend "A DNA test is the only way to settle this once and for all.

 

"When Nicola told me Alfie was going to be a dad, I said 'How do you know it's his?' "I kept asking if she was sure because I thought a boy of his age wasn't capable of conceiving.

 

"And Alfie looks so much younger than 13. That's the point of all this. He looks a little kid himself and it's so shocking.

 

The vehicle fitter walked out on Alfie and his mum for a 19-year-old friend of his teen-mum stepdaughter.

 

But Dennis defended his decisions and refused to take the blame for Alfie's predicament saying: "I've been the best dad I could.

 

"But we all make mistakes."

 

 

I'll update all when Part 4 is upon us.

Distressed Lady: Won't someone please think of the children!!

Stoner: Which ones lady?

 

[blackheartedprofit]

stupid kids having stupid kids, when the fuck is it going to end?, here is yet another example of why our society is fucked up, parents on the dole, both families are already a massive drain on society and they allow a 13 and 15 year old to have a baby?, has everyone gone fuckin insane??,, i don't find this humourous in the least. it's totally fucked up imo, haven't any of those morons heard of abortion ?

[Teucer]

I agree bhp. There's just way too much wrong with this story. It could fit whole encyclopaedias.

 

There's nowhere to start and nowhere to end. Society is screwed!

 

Hence why all I can say is in moments like this, bong on and use that great Aussie sense of humour.