New Study Links Marijuana to Kennedy Assassination

[Al B. Fuct]

It's about time someone started lampooning the War On Some Drugs. It's well past ridiculous already.

 

Sunday, August 26th, 2007...8:07 pm

New Study Links Marijuana to Kennedy Assassination

 

According to a new study commissioned by the National Society of Families for Drug Awareness and Education and Families, marijuana played a large role in the assassination of John F. Kennedy, the thirty-fifth President of the United States.

 

The study, released yesterday, revealed that “many ties” had been found between the

THC

-producing herb often smoked at rock concerts and what many consider to be the day America lost its innocence.

 

“After very careful and thorough analysis of the information we gathered, it was obvious that pot played a role [in the assassination],” announced Gregory Boyd, the head of the research team behind the study. “There is no doubt in my mind that marijuana killed JFK.”

 

Anti-drug groups such as the NSFDAEF are pointing to the study as proof that marijuana is a very dangerous drug that poses a grave threat to society.

 

“How many more Presidents have to die before people realize that pot is not harmless?” asked NSFDAEF spokesperson Leonard Colby. “It’s what we’ve been saying all along: Weed Kills.”

 

The NSFDAEF has joined forces with Families for National Drug Control and the American Family Morality Council of Moral American Families to promote the findings of the study. Numerous ad campaigns are already underway, with more planned in the future.

 

“We at the NSFDAEF feel these campaigns will have a much better effect on public opinion than our past attempts at linking marijuana to terrorism and dead children.” Colby said. “With this study, I believe we have found our own magic bullet.”

 

Marijuana legalization supporters have called the study “ludicrous” and “biased,” claming that the results of the study were tainted by the agenda of the group that commissioned it. Colby dismissed these allegations as the desperate ramblings of a fringe minority.

 

“Those people will do anything to legalize their death plant,” he said. “They’ve even gone so far as to claim that marijuana is not chemically addictive, has medicinal merits, and is less dangerous than alcohol or cigarettes. Have you ever heard anything so absurd?”

 

From http://slownewsday.wordpress.com

[godonacid]

now thats just screwed up, one of the most stupid things i have ever read in my life, just need to find the email address for the people who did this study now.

[jojothepotfiend]

This calls for more throat punching's(not a word), get swinging Jimbo. I watched the documentary Grass a couple of nights ago(its on google video) and i can't believe people are still trying these ridiculous scare campaigns. Pot killed JFK, well fuck me! i stupidly thought it was the bullet, back to science class for me.

 

Maybe if the assasin smoked weed he would have chilled the fuck out and gone to a few good rock concerts(of which there were many around that time).

 

So whats next? pot causes global warming?? thats a huge stretch of the truth...but so is this shit.

 

Fuck them, I'll enjoy my weed. They can waste their time on baseless studies.

 

[WantDaChronic]

unless kennedy was hit over the head with a 100kg humungus cola grown in some secret lab i dont see how marijuana could have killed him or maybe the bullets were made out of really solid buds or hash, who knows maybe jfk could knock bullets out of the air in mid flight but was too stoned on that particular day to show off

 

in all seriousness though what a fucking bunch of lunatics, how in the hell can marijuana be blamed for the death of a president?

[Luke Skywalker]

Guys, it's sarcastic....

[WantDaChronic]

Guys, it's sarcastic....

guess the above comments including my own happen when we dont confirm the source of the story and read the disclaimer pages which say stuff like:

Disclaimer

 

Unless otherwise stated, posts on Slow News Day are not actual news stories. Rather, they are satirical pieces that are loosely based on actual news events. Any and all relation to real people and events is purely for non-factual, satirical purposes, and we believe any use of copyrighted material is covered under Fair Use.

[Luke Skywalker]

Or the line above the post saying

It's about time someone started lampooning the War On Some Drugs. It's well past ridiculous already.

 

Just goes to show that if you can believe there are idiots out there spouting this stuff for real that there must lots of idiots out there spouting a lot of stupid things.... good way to show how ridiculous the drug war is, what I can't wait for is one of the anti-drug bastards to jump and run with it....

[jojothepotfiend]

ummmm....comments retracted.

 

I read the bit about lampooning and though it was a sarcastic remark. Meaning that the stuff people come up with is now so ridiculous that it should be lampooned.

 

so yeah...i'm a simpleton

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Nah, probably just stoned.

 

See, I hadn't had a cone for a couple of hours before I read it.

[jojothepotfiend]

Nah, probably just stoned.

 

See, I hadn't had a cone for a couple of hours before I read it.

 

dude, i wish i was....maybe that's the problem