Self Medication with Cannabis

[Nath]

I have only really had problems for about two years or so, and been on olanzapine for a year in total now. Whenever I had cannabis, I didnt use olanzapine though... and I was fine. My eating was fine, my sleep was fine, my thinking was nice and relaxed and life was great I guess. But now its been 14 weeks nearly with no Cannabis (Two years ago I went without it for a year, it was ok.) and also, no cigarettes, meth (using only one and a half years, thats why im like this probably) or other drugs (pills etc)... and Im on Sodium valproate, a mood stabilizer (Which I havent taken for 3 weeks or so now, and I feel much better without) and Olanzapine, a strong antipsychotic. Well my problem is:

 

When I take Olanzapine, the next day I feel headfckd from the drugs, and its not like a good sedated feeling, its like a just eat and eat and eat feeling. Olanzapine makes you crave carbs, and keep eating. In 14 weeks Ive gone from 85kgs to 118kgs now, thats nearly 40 KGS in 3 MONTHS... this is the second time Ive put on alot of weight, as when I first quit meth/cannabis/cigs at 19 years old, I went from 65kgs to 115kgs in 8 months sitting on the computer really depressed. Well, now things are under control, I will definately not be using meth via IV again for a long time to come (Maybe on things like NYE or something) and no cigarettes definately, yuk hate em now.. and basically what I wanted to know is..

 

What should I tell my doctor.. my problems are: If I dont take meds or smoke cannabis, I dont sleep.. and if I dont sleep I start going loopy, and if I go loopy then I get bad paranoia and anxiety. Things like scared of the dark and the shadows and stuff like that its horrible. But I want to just tell my doctor, that I WANT SLEEPING TABLETS, and Im STRONGER than your average person when it comes to addiction so I will make SURE I dont get addicted to them, but they have up until now just said to take antipsychotics during the day if I feel hyper. But the effects of the antipsychotics (Even in minimum doses - Ive been trying 5mg a day of Olanzapine for a year, and now they are saying take the 10mg tabs) are terrible, I hate them... I cant operate normally, all I want to do all day is sleep and eat because of it. And its nothing like a nice low where you feel sedated its a full headfck. I dont know what to do, or how my doctor will react if I say I want to take cannabis instead. I have thrown the idea up before her before, and she was TOTALLY against it... but now she has left and in about three or four days I see a new psychiatrist and he will probably just look at me and go 'DRUGGY' and tell me to piss off like they all do. The sad thing is, Ill have to stay on meds until I can get my crop cranking, but Im planning to have a place secured with deposit by Tuesday, so I can move into it in two weeks from then. By the way I dress really respectable in shirt and pants, shiny black shoes, jewelry and shit, pimpin.. but just what I tell them about IV'ing speed and stuff Ive done in the past makes them think of me as scum I guess, even though its been 3 years off the speed... just had a high paying job this year and splashed out for a couple months again.

 

Argh, feels good to get that off my chest, now I just hope someone can help.

[Nath]

My appointment with the doctor was actually today.. and its a new female doctor, she sounded European on the phone. She works at Bently hospital and Graylands too, and I basically told her that I really want to stop the meds, and I need sleeping tablets because the psychosis is going and its just from drug withdrawal... and shes leaving a prescription of temazepam at the counter for me

 

I hate mental illnesses, im 265lbs, 6ft and a big boy.. and I cant even sleep with the light off some nights.. Funny to some people, but its really really sad. It will go away eventually though I hope. When I think about it.. i was on the gear for a year and really fried my brain that year, Id have gear 3-6 times a day and even have half a gram on monday night when everyone would go to sleep and id sit up and play gran turismo all night. But its been 19-21 clean which saw me get a bit better... then I just went and had a 6 month+ ecstasy and speed binge mated together with smoking copious amounts of mj.. I gotta expect some mental effects. Before I stopped smoking mj though I started smoking to enjoy the bud, in smaller doses just a couple cones and thats it or a joint.. instead of having a 6-8 cone session every 2-3 hours. I think mj in big doses is pretty bad for ones health, I find it does make you stupid..

[Chev]

She sounds good I'd say you're def experiencing the after affects of the drugs you've had over time. I was smoking well over 1/2 a weight a day in the last months. And it wasn't the average street gear, it was straight from hong kong, uncut, and it almost ruined me. At $200 a pop, it's an expensive habit that can destroy your life.

You'll come good man, trust me. I have nights I don't actually want to go to sleep, never mind having to leave the lights on

The valium and Mindbender helped me through the worst, but we're out of MJ now and waiting, and I've made myself stop taking valium over the last couple of weeks coz I don't want to become dependant on them for sleep. So I have 1 left for a really bad night, and I'll probably go back to my doc for another repeat. Bring on harvest time :thumbsup

Life is perking up now I've moved into a nice little place that I know I'll be in for quite some time to come. And have a nice little grow to go with it I'm quite comfy and happy, had to change phone numbers and bascially isolate myself from not only friends, but ppl in my family also that use But it's been the best decision I've ever made for myself, my son and Tom. And my immediate family, I could never imagine what it'd do to my oldies if I went down 'that' path .

[Nath]

Wicked its an inspiration to hear about people 'cleaning up'... This share house thing is going to be a good idea for me.. I can get back to interacting with people, and most of the people that live there are students, and go to Curtin uni, its right near the uni in Bentley... so maybe I might ask the old boy to pay for a unit too. I did a intro to social work unit a few years ago there, so maybe I can concentrate towards that more. Ill build a box in my room with computer fans and my 48w cf's to veg the plants until March.. where I can save enough to move into a decent unit for like $150pw, maybe even a small house out in the sticks. I really want to move bush in flowering season since I can veg a whole shitload of plants indoors and then crank them outdoor for flowering. Anyhow hope I get a bottle of meds instead of just a script of like 10 to last me two weeks until I see the doc. I hate when they give me like 1-2 valium to take before sleep.. im a big boy, I need like 4-5

[nugget]

guys you are all bloody awesome!! Seriously its nealrly made me cry reading this thread, it hits so close to home. My brother has been a speed user for the past couple years, and Ive seen him go from TOTAL anti-anything (except pot) to taking anything he can get his hands on He moved in with my mother and basically terrorised her for about 10 months with his moods and verbal (not physical afaik) abuse. Now we (my brother and i) WERE really close, I mean we were like best fucking friends, untill he started using. We were only born one year apart, so we've been there for each other since day one. I just dont know what to do about him because he doesnt think he has a problem, thinks he can give it up anytime he wants, and flies into a RAGE whenever anyone tries to mention it to him. He's stolen money and other things from mum, borrowed money from dad and hasnt spoken to him in over a year because he cant pay him back, alot of stuff has been messed up cos of it. Fuck, I havent spoken to him in six months because he stole from me and i asked him about it. This caused a blue between us two which resulted in him smashing my car up with a bat cos he wouldnt hit me. I just dont know what the hell to do about it. He's been picked up by the police on numerous occasions, but theres a couple of funny ones down here and he just keep getting let out again and again. Sometimes I wish they would just lock him up for 6 months so he can get over it. Im not sure what point im trying to make, just you guys are awesome, thanks for showing me theres some hope for him. I feel like grabbing him by the throat sometimes and shaking the shit outta him, but that would only cause more problems. Sorry for the long rant, i guess im just venting. Ive never said any of this stuff to anyone before, so thanks for reading it if you even take the time (which im sure some of you guys will)

 

Chev: Good on ya mate, youre a bloody inspiration and i wish you could sit down and tell him what an idiot he's being. Ive never tried anything except pot & a few trips so its hard for me to say anything to him about the matter becaus ehes just like "what the fuck would you know your just a stoner"

 

Nath: Your a bloody legend too mate for having the guts to kick the habit, even though you had a good new years :: Good luck with everything and god knows I hope it works out for you.

 

Sorry for the rant guys, i think i need a smoke

 

nugget23

 

P.S. this is bloody personal shit for me...

[Tom]

Sorry for the rant guys, i think i need a smoke

Don't be, living with a meth user is like going through seven kinds of hell, you never know where you are at or what's going to happen next, check out that link that Chev posted as they help the families of the users as well giving heaps of help to those supporting users trying to get off.

 

I am also sorry to say that there is very little help for your brother until he is ready to admit that he has a serious problem and that the meth as that is what it he has, it has replaced speed and is far worse (some dealers push meth as "speed"), and is ready to quit, during this period you need to remember that METH USERS CAN BE THE BIGGEST FUCKING LIARS ON THIS PLANET, and any that find breaking the addiction too hard will be re-using within days, rehab is the only hope then. Many addicts have to hit rock bottom before they come to realise that they are under the control of a chemical, Chev, Nath and a few others I know are the smart ones that got off before hitting the bottom. I also know a some others that will probably never get off it, I avoid them like the plague, I have more than enough stress in my life as it is.

 

One thing that just hit me, every one of those I know that got off before rock bottom is an mj user, the others are not and one (dealer and heavily addicted) even lectured me on how bad pot is for you, it's sad but barring accidents I know I am going to outlive him and the others by many years.

 

[dsyfer]

Just got to say one thing,

 

New Years Eve is one of the worst night of the year for a past or reforming addict

 

A lot of the time that one 'eh it's New Years' smoke, sniff, snort, hit or pop is all it takes for a full blown relapse into addiction.

 

There is only one way to beat addiction of any sort....... never take another hit

 

Now saying this is the easy part, I have dealt with addictions in the past and grew up with "socially aceptable" addicts (alcohol & prescriptions) but I have never dealt with meth before, it does sound quite nasty cheers to you guys for going so well, but those 4 words work with any addiction, they can't fail if they are followed

 

This is meant to be a positive post, I hope it has come accross that way

Edited January 23, 2006 by dsyfer

[Nath]

True dsyfer, but I have a very strong mental will power... I was junkie scum, been there done that.. although I dress like a million bucks now, people respect me now, I talk with people properly, in a good manner. Only problem is now.. the doctors prescribing me one 10mg temazepam tablet per night to get to sleep... and these tabs are piss weak. Im 120kgs, with a massively high drug tolerancy when it comes to pills and powders. I just took five and an hour later now im still typing fine and cant really feel much. I think I need something stronger than the Temaze, but weaker than antipsychotics. Hope they give me some decent meds, I slept 8 hours in the past 3 days total, and stuffed up last night and took 5mg of olanzapine, but only got 4hrs sleep too... My new doctor sounds pretty cool though, and I hope she can help me out with better meds. I got 25 pills to last me for 2 weeks, so Ill just have them every couple days and olanzapine those days that I wont have to do anything the next day. I abused the crap out of script drugs as a youth, valium, dexies, temazepam, serepax etc.. so thats probably why I have a larger immunity to them. Ah well, at least im off the dreaded Olanzapine for a few weeks.

 

And nugget, addiction is all in the mind. 14 weeks ago I quit daily IV'ing of speed, hourly smoking mj and cigs all cold turkey, and fought the cravings.. i didnt even feel like i got cravings really, just when i look at bud shots on webforums theres a bit of drooling, but meh.. I know mine are coming soon so its all good. If the person in question with the addiction doesnt want to change, then there is little you can do other than be there for them as a councillor/someone to talk with. Ive spaced myself away from all drug users, even mj... moving into this student accommodation would be good, they are all asian uni students who dont do drugs so being in that atmosphere will be good, ill only blaze at times which i need to. Maybe before bed, or before going out somewhere for a walk. No more sitting on my arse bonging on...

[Chev]

I hate to say this Nath, but where I was getting my shit from the guy and his mates are all curtin students Just be careful, there's a lot of it around the unis these days sadly enough.

nugget: My heart goes out to ya mate, it's a long hard road for some users, and a large portion never turn off that road. I've lost cousins and good friends, and my brother recently took himself overseas backpacking to get away from it. The sad thing is, me and him seem to be the only ones who've made that turn, the others refuse to even admit they have a problem........and it's tearing my family apart, my dad's sister is now on valium and is a nervous wreak because of my cousin. She now lives back at home, but has been told to get out again. She left her dealer partner, the father of her 2 year old, and just basically turned into a crack whore :crying: We're born a couple of days apart and grew up together, and she's turned into a right cunt. Won't leave the shit, keeps going back and forth to her ex, cops are in and out all the time for domestics. And it kills me knowing her son is going to grow up with meth heads for parents. That's all she basically associates with, meth heads. We no longer speak, I'm at the point of actually wanting to inflict some pain on her She just used me as a convenience stop, then moved onto the next sucker. I'd go to her at all hours when she needed me. And the saddest thing is, I don't think she'll ever ever get off it. I changed my phone number, and we haven't spoken since xmas. I miss seeing the little one, but I have to face the fact I can't change her fate :crying:

Go to crystal recovery, it's the best site out for support. But you know, all you can do basically is step back and wait. It's hard to watch someone free-fall when all you want to do is grab hold and help. But you can't until he faces up to the fact he has a major problem. And believe me, the day I did that I cried and cried when I realised what I was doing and where I was going. :yingyang

[Nath]

I back to totally not using speed va IV any more.. and using it in anyother way is a total waste inmo, so maybe ill use some at the end of my crop while i trim up my buds but thats about it. Thegear is under control Plus im generally an outwright charactor so people do try to overrule my ideas generallyl

[Chev]

I back to totally not using speed va IV any more.. and using it in anyother way is a total waste inmo, so maybe ill use some at the end of my crop while i trim up my buds but thats about it. Thegear is under control

Sorry Nath, but from one ex-meth head to another, you can't control meth. It controls you. And all users seem to have a sense of power in thinking they are stronger and can control it better than others. You know what it can do, I personally hope I never ever come across it again. And speed would just make me want the good shit more.

All it takes is one hit to start the cycle all over again. Weather you smoke or IV, it's still life destroying and it sucks away your soul.